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Dear Marty, my name is Arthur Smith. I'm 25 years old and a virgin. I'm writing you because

I'm afraid at this rate I'll never lose my virginity. Please don't tell anyone. I'm really

embarrassed about it. I saw your product called Too Hard in your comic book. Does that stuff

really work? Will it really give me the confidence I need to lose my virginity? And does it really

come from outer space? Marty, I think you're the coolest. Can you please help me? I'll do anything.